SEEKING JESUS

The Morning Star Rising on the First Day

In my prior post, I reported how I faced the devil in Hell and experienced his absolute hatred for me. I watched him in horror as he strained to attack me, but God had secured his feet to the ground, keeping me just out of his reach. 

In this experience, just like so many before, God protected me from harm. In this case, I was instantly transferred to another place, leaving Satin in a rage, trying to break his restraints and harm me. 

My destination was the Judgement Seat of the Lord. 

My prior posting can be found here: SWIMMING IN THE LAKE OF FIRE AND BRIMSTONE

The Place Of Judgment

I arrived in a tranquil fog that mysteriously had no dampness. The mist engulfed me so that all I could see was gray. I pondered my recent experiences in Hell (see – IN HELL – CONFRONTED BY THE DEVIL) and the Lake of Fire (see – my prior post) and believed I was fortunate to be in a peaceful and calming place like this one.

All of this suddenly changed as I started to re-live the iniquities of my life in a much more vivid way than when I lived them. Once again, I experienced the feelings, emotions, and perceptions of the people I had infringed upon, and it humbled me. All of this occurred instantaneously, however. Instead of taking hours, days, months, or even years, I re-experienced them concurrently.

Suddenly all of this ceased, and I heard a voice coming thru the fog. It was a mature, calming voice, one that projected love. It emitted a confidence that drew me toward it. It was firm and yet unintimidating and had a perfect tempo. Its power, phrasing, and pronunciation were exact, yet the voice transmitted a sense of caring and consideration. I perceived all this from just the four stunning words He spoke.

I thought, how did I decern all this from just four words? After all, it was a straightforward question, yet so profound that it cut to my heart. The inquiry had surprised me, and its implication hit home like a sledgehammer. “Why should you live?” is all the voice spoke without expression of judgment or wrath. Therefore, there were no clues as to what an acceptable response might be.   

The ramifications of the question devastated me as I recognized that my response would determine my fate. I assumed there must be a valid answer because if not, why ask the question? Frantically, I searched for explanations to justify my poor behavior.

Then another insight came to me from out of the blue, and it rocked me even more. There are no lies in this place, only truth. Lies do not exist here because the one who asked the question already knows the reality. Everyone here has access to this reality.

Soon yet another fact smacked me into a frenzy. The question pertained to more than merely mortal life and death on Earth. The question is about living forever, either in paradise or in the Lake of Fire and Brimstone, the second death (Golgotha – see SWIMMING IN THE LAKE OF FIRE AND BRIMSTONE and MY JOURNEY TO SPIRITUAL GOLGOTHA.) I now began to comprehend the consequence and gravity of the question. Death forever! Agony, torture, and suffering in the Lake of Fire for eternity. Everlasting torment at the hand of Satan. Then that “oh, no” feeling swam over me in a deluge, you know, that guilty sensation you get in your gut when your actions have severely harmed someone. 

Then I heard a commotion from behind the one who asked the question, and another voice said, “What about good works?” Then, I heard more rustling and fuss, and then the disruption stopped, and a third voice said, “There are none.” I stood there dumbfounded and thought, how can this be since I have certainly performed good works? Then another truth entered my mind. Even my good deeds were done for the wrong reasons. 

I understood the focus was on me to answer the question, and I became desperate to find an appropriate reply. I felt I had to say something, so I blamed others and then paused for a response, but the silence was the only response I would get. Then, I admitted that I should not try to blame others for my bad choices, and I surrendered, telling God that I would change, and I requested His help. 

That was the last thing I recall about being before the judgment seat of God. My next recollection would be awakening in the ICU in the morning. I had lived through the night by the mercy of God. 

Yes, it happened again, just like in my previous postings, where I communicated that someone had been watching out and protecting me. This time, however, the one who saved me had the power to rescue me from the greatest misfortune of all, the second death. You would think that this time there would be no mistaking who was watching out for me, but regrettably, I was still blind. I saw all of this as one terrifying dream. So I moved my memories of that night to a faraway place in my brain and moved on. 

But the devil was not done with me, and neither was God. The spiritual battle over me would continue for quite some time. In subsequent postings, I will tell of continuous setbacks in the ICU and the turning point back to God.