Tag Archive: spiritual warfare


THE DAYS AFTER DEATH


HANGING ON TO LIFE

Although I miraculously lived through that first night, my troubles were far from over. My life would continue, but now the devil had me on the ropes, and although I did not know it at the time, he was coming in to finish me off.

He continued attacking me in the hospital as I fought for my life. Several of his attacks damaged my body, while others aggravated my job standing and relationships. When all else failed, he influenced my doctors to persuade me to consent to a risky and unneeded operation. He repeatedly brought mayhem into my life with a relentless wave of events designed to abort my destiny and life purpose.

As strange as this may sound, I paid no heed to the Judgment Day messages I experienced that first night in the hospital. You can read about them in these postings: (MY DAY OF DEATH, When You Disbelieve The Devil’s Existence…, Entering The Spiritual Realm, MY JOURNEY TO SPIRITUAL GOLGOTHA, IN HELL – CONFRONTED BY THE DEVIL, SWIMMING IN THE LAKE OF FIRE AND BRIMSTONE, Standing On The Seat Of Judgment Before God, MY EXPERIENCES IN HEAVEN AND HELL.) 

This entire encounter was so unbelievably dreadful and depressing that I often doubted if these terrifying experiences could even be real. So, I blocked all my reflections of that night because I no longer wanted to dwell upon them or think about their consequences. I rationalized them away as being nothing more than an awful dream. I pictured them as being very small and far away in my mind. Unfortunately, the consequence of these measures is that they exposed me to a new series of demonic attacks. I was about to experience the truth of living without God to block the devil’s attacks.

THE NEXT FEW WEEKS

I spent the next few weeks in the intensive care unit (ICU), and quite frankly, I could not have been any sicker. It was so bad that I remember thinking, “oh well, at least I’m still alive.”

Seriously ill patients in intensive care unit with a artificial — Stock Photo, Image

The doctors confirmed that my pancreas was the problem. They explained that it had exploded into hyper-production, generating thousands of times the required volume of digestive enzymes and discharging most of them into my bloodstream. They said that these digestive enzymes decompose proteins resulting in massive deterioration over most of my body. My blood, veins, arteries, muscles, nerves, organs, bones, and brain were all decomposing. That would explain my sensations of needles and pins all over my body and the numbness I felt after I entered the hospital.

The physicians continued to divulge that this hyper-production of digestive enzymes created immense pressure on the internal lining of the pancreas. This force became so powerful that it forced the inner lining through the outer wall, forming a balloon-shaped cyst outside the pancreas. The doctors called it a pseudo-cyst, and they deemed it to be a potentially deadly condition. They articulated that even though my pseudo-cyst was leaking, it had not yet ruptured. Eventually, it would harden and break open, abruptly releasing massive quantities of digestive enzymes into my bloodstream, creating even more impairment to my body. My surgeons said my pseudo-cysts were a ticking time bomb and would require defusing before this explosion struck me.

Even worse they did not have a medical solution to my condition, and I believed that surgery was on their minds and in their hearts from the very start. I also knew I was not strong enough for surgery then, as my body needed to heal and gain strength.

In the meantime, the physicians proceeded with a recuperation strategy founded on food abstinence. They asserted that total fasting would slow enzyme production considerably because food consumption activates the digestive processes. Beginning this program would also give my body time to purge itself of the harmful toxins in my blood. To confirm that the program was working, they monitored my blood regularly. Within a week, they declared that my enzyme levels were consistently descending.

I made it through the first few weeks without eating anything and lost 30 pounds in the process. They then started IV feedings that consisted of sugar water and vitamins. The physicians said afterward that my body responded as desired, and I had gained strength. While this was good news, I still felt very sick.

THE STENCH OF DEATH

It was more than physically feeling very sick, however. I began to sense there was something very different about my behavior. One thing that I noticed was my inappropriate speech. Vulgarities were now flowing out of my mouth, seemingly with every sentence I uttered. For some reason, I did not seem to care who it offended as I spared no one from my bad speech, not my mother, father, or even my children. Physicians and nurses were daily victims, and things like my handwritten notes strangely included vulgarities. It was so bad that even though it was clear to me, I seemingly could not stop. I wondered to myself, why am I saying such disgusting things? It was obvious to everyone around me that my vocabulary had changed. In reality, the stench of death was all over me. I was still alive and in this world, but the scent of death had wrapped me like a blanket.

My mind was also influenced. My thoughts were of sensual pleasures and flirting with nurses. This conduct was inconceivable for someone so sick that they could die at any moment. I recall thinking, what is wrong with you? You’re so ill you cannot stay awake for more than an hour at a time, and you are harboring these absurd thoughts?

Not knowing that I was in a war for my life (spiritual warfare) allowed me to become a punching bag for evil. In my next posting, I will communicate how being unable to digest food became the next punch threatening my life.


The New Earth on the First Day as the Morning Star Rises

POINTS FOR REFLECTION

I understand that the experiences I shared pertaining to the spiritual warfare over me, are foreign to most. You can read them here:

My day of death

When You Disbelieve The Devil’s Existence…

Entering The Spiritual Realm

MY JOURNEY TO SPIRITUAL GOLGOTHA

IN HELL – CONFRONTED BY THE DEVIL

SWIMMING IN THE LAKE OF FIRE AND BRIMSTONE

Standing On The Seat Of Judgment Before God

I also understand that these chronicles are more readily accepted when they are authenticated by bible scripture. I, therefore, will introduce a few scriptures here to fulfill this desired result. I hope that in examining this material, you may find, like I did, a real glimpse into the reality of the spiritual realm.  

A CORRELATION TO THE REVELATION OF JESUS CHRIST

The experiences of that night terrified me, and yet people just never talked about things like this, and rightfully so. Most people would think you were crazy for talking about what I experienced. Therefore, I did not want to think about what happened, let alone tell anyone about Entering The Spiritual Realm. It wasn’t until years later, after I was born-again, that I really began to understand what God had done for me. He showed me the truth about what exists on the other side of this reality and how my actions on earth would determine my spiritual destiny. God loved me enough to give me a second opportunity to make the right choices and this changed my fate. I did not deserve this opportunity, but He gave it to me out of His love for me. I knew that if He did this much for me when I did not deserve it, He would continue to bless me afterward. Eventually, I publically declared Jesus Christ to be my Lord and Savior. Everything improved for me after that. God placed favor into my soul, and I grew closer to Him than I could have imagined. I began reading the Bible daily and gained new insights into my spiritual encounters. In the book of Revelation, I found uncanny similarities, correlations, and insights into what happened to me. The following sections present some parallels found in the book of Revelation. 

PROOF OF THE LAKE OF FIRE

The orange plasma that I reported swimming in (see SWIMMING IN THE LAKE OF FIRE AND BRIMSTONE) is mentioned in the book of Revelation. It is the eternal destination of Satan, the beast, the false prophet, death, Hades, and everyone whose name is not written in the Book of Life.

Revelation 20:10 The devil, who deceived them, was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone where the beast and the false prophet are. And they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.

THE JUDGMENT OF WORKS AND THE OPENED BOOKS

In my spiritual reality, I stood in a gray place while being judged (Standing On The Seat Of Judgment Before God.) I heard the voices of the beings that searched for records of the good works I had done. I also experienced the pain I had caused others as the sins of my life passed before me. 

The Judgment Seat of Christ

Is there a reference to being judged in the Bible? Are records kept to assist in the judgment? The answer to both of these questions is yes. Everyone will be judged by their works: 

Revelation 20:11 – 13 Then I saw a great white throne and Him who sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away. And there was found no place for them. And I saw the dead, small and great standing before God, and books were opened. And another book was opened, which is the Book of Life. And the dead were judged according to their works, by the things, which were written in the books. The sea gave up the dead who were in it, and Death and Hades delivered up the dead who were in them. And they were judged, each one according to his works.

THE SECOND DEATH

Since only truth existed in the place of my reflection, I somehow understood that the pending judgment before me was regarding the second death. On earth, I did not know that such a thing existed. Is there evidence of the second death in the Bible? Yes, again, it is explained in the continuation of the passage above. The second death is the end of hell and death. The result is to be the total elimination of evil. There will also be the elimination of death, pain, and tears. Sadly, however, there will be no more chances for repentance as only those whose name is in the Book of Life will remain:

Revelation 20:14 – 15 Then Death and Hades were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. And anyone not found written in the Book of Life was cast into the lake of fire.

THE SAVIOR

On that night, I swam in the lake of fire and brimstone and later walked in the halls of Hell where I faced the beast IN HELL – CONFRONTED BY THE DEVIL. I knew there was no escape from these places, so how did I get out? I also sustained the reality of the second death, but who has power over death, to let live or let die? The answer is Jesus! The following words from the book of Revelation are the words of the resurrected Jesus: 

Jesus “The Way, the Truth and the Life,” Rises from the Dead

Revelation 1:18 I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore. Amen. And I have the keys of hades and of death.

THE JUDGE

In my recollection, I stood while being judged. To whom do I owe my redemption? Who sits on the throne of judgment? 

Revelation 7:10 And crying out with a loud voice, saying, Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!

I was returned to a life that day despite my stained garments. Who has the power to forgive sin?

Mark 2:10 – 11 But that you may know that the Son of Man has power on earth to forgive sins; He said to the paralytic, I say to you, arise, take up your bed, and go to your house.

I stood in a place where only truth existed and was asked, “Why should you live?” But, who is it that will judge the living and the dead?

2 Timothy 4:1 I charge you, therefore, before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, who will judge the living and the dead at His appearing and His kingdom. 

The answer is that Jesus, the Christ of Nazareth, is our Lord and Savior. Even though I had made poor choices, Jesus covered me with His blood and kept me from the second death I deserved. 

Jesus Sheds His Blood on the Cross

My story provides insight into the meaning of our lives because it accurately describes the consequences of poor choices. I had made the poor choice of disbelieving in the devil’s existence, and God revealed the truth to me. The truth is that the devil, hell, the lake of fire and brimstone, the judgment, and the second death are the consequences of poor choices. God, Jesus, heaven, and life everlasting are the consequences of our faith in Jesus Christ, the son of God. 

A CORRELATION WITH PSALM 30

As you know from reading my seven prior postings listed at the top of the page, I entered the emergency room of a major hospital on November 7, 1986, believing that all would be well soon, not knowing that MY DAY OF DEATH was knocking at my door. Nor did I know that God would miraculously deliver me from a long string of attacks and calamities. 

A correlation to my experience exists in Psalm 30, a psalm of David. In this psalm, David honors God for saving him from his foe, healing him, delivering him from the grave, and saving him from being cast into the pit (MY JOURNEY TO SPIRITUAL GOLGOTHA.) My experience shows that God also did these things for me, and therein lies the correlation. Let us start by reading a portion of Psalm 30.

Psalm 30: 1-5 I will extol You, O LORD, for You have lifted me up, and have not let my foes rejoice over me. O LORD my God, I cried out to You, and you healed me. O LORD, You brought my soul up from the grave; You have kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit. Sing praise to the LORD, you saints of His, and give thanks at the remembrance of His holy name. For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. 

Let us honor God for His great mercy and love! I completely relate to the message of Psalm 30. So much so that I modified it to become my individual prayer of thanksgiving for all my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, has done for me. I present this personal version here, so please read along with me in thanksgiving and praise: 

I will exalt You, Oh Lord, for You have lifted me up and have not let my enemy, the devil, rejoice in victory over me. Oh Lord, my God, I have cried out to You, and You have healed me from a great affliction of which there was seemingly no hope. Oh Lord, You have lifted my soul from the grave of death and saved me from the eternal damnation I truly deserve. You have kept me alive and spared me from the fate of the Lake of Fire and Brimstone and the everlasting torture and agony of the second death. Sing praises to the Lord, you saints of His, and give thanks to the remembrance of His holy name; His name is JESUS, THE CHRIST OF NAZARETH. For His anger is but for a moment, but His favor is forever. Oh, weeping and sorrow may endure for a night, but joy everlasting comes in the morning, and a new life begins. 


In my last posting, I recounted my experience in the Lake of Fire and Brimstone and the anguish I underwent there. You can read about this experience by clicking on this link: MY JOURNEY TO SPIRITUAL GOLGOTHA

TRANSPORTED TO HELL

However, a spiritual force removed me from the Lake of Fire and transported me to an empty cave. I looked around and saw blackened semi-smooth rock surfaces glowing red in various places. The walls contained numerous large fissures that periodically released fire and repulsive sulfuric-smelling steam. I presumed these conditions to be like those in the earth’s core. I started searching for a way out by walking down a passageway through the flames and the smoke. 

THE BEAST

Suddenly, a giant beast materialized directly in front of me, obstructing my way forward. This repulsive-looking ten-foot-tall monster had the body shape of a stout man. Its gigantic arms and legs were broader than my torso, and its muscles bulged like those of a world-class bodybuilder. Its skin was predominantly darkish brown with traces of black spattered in, and its texture resembled scorched leather, hardened in the fire of this place. This leathered skin contained sharp thorns of various sizes across its body, and the large thorns had smaller thorns on them. These rose-shaped thorns had to be an exceptional weapon because anyone who fought this monster would be cut to shreds by them. 

I stared at the face of the beast and saw its red eyes glaring back at me, and I felt its enormous hatred for me. The shape of its head sloped back like that of a Raptor, and I understood that this beast was the master of this place and that there was no way for me to conquer it; at least not in this place where it rules. We stood there, glaring at each other, and once again, I felt the incredible loathing and disgust it had toward me. It detested me with a prejudice that I had never imagined, with perfect malice. I now knew that it saw me as revolting, disgusting, and repulsive. My words can not adequately convey the depth, completeness, and hostility this monster had for me. 

Realizing the seriousness of the circumstances, I attempted to turn and run but found my feet stuck to the ground. The creature then made numerous swinging punches at me, but luckily, as it tried to move toward me, it also found its feet stuck to the floor. Without this restraint, this monster would have ruled over me in hell. It would torture me and obtain sadistic pleasure in my suffering. 

I knew all these things were true because this knowledge was being inserted into my brain. I felt all of this with powerful emotion. Then, as before, I was instantly transported to yet another place. The place of judgment: TBD


My prior posting can be found here: Entering The Spiritual Realm

As we ended that posting, I lay in an ICU bed, passing into unconsciousness. I departed my physical body and found myself in a transparent vessel in the vastness of space. The craft moved slowly forward through space and time, and I passed the life I would have lived behind. This missive picks up at that juncture and divulges the rest of my voyage to spiritual Golgotha.

The Journey Begins

I proceeded to look around as I progressed through space. I soon detected a slightly larger object in the infinite sea of stars ahead. As the ship advanced, I noticed that this object was not spherical, though I couldn’t quite recognize it.

Then suddenly, a repulsive stench arrived. It was faint at first, and I found myself sniffing to recognize it. But when the full power of that putrifying odor descended on me, it struck like a massive swell crashing onto the shore. I gagged and became nauseated as the smell of death and the stench of decaying human flesh sickened me.

Soon afterward, I heard soft melodic sounds that I could not place. I noticed, however, that its volume gradually rose as I approached the strange object before me. A chill ran through my soul when I discovered the sound to be the voices of numerous souls, simultaneously wailing in torment and despair. This perpetual melody of misery evoked a very heartbreaking and gut-wrenching sensation.

I subsequently glanced up to check my direction and observed that I was approaching the now larger-looking white object in space. I also noticed that my s-curves now seemed larger. I confirmed that I was on a track toward this irregularly shaped object and that the putrified stench and wailing sounds emanated from within it.

I soon glimpsed what I wish I had not, a gigantic, human skull hovered in space. It had muscle and hair in various places, but, in general, it was severely decayed. Most of its skin was missing, exposing underlying muscle, ligament, and bone. However, most areas leave only the skeletal structure observable. The jaw displayed only a few teeth while exhibiting a wicked smirk. The right eyeball was missing, and the stench and the wailing emerged from this empty cavity.

Skull_by_JKrushal
Skull_by_JKrushal

The closer I came to this skull of death, the more I became astonished at its enormous size. The sine wave flight path now swung me from one edge of the object to the other, and before I knew it, all I could see before me was the skull. Yet, I proceeded onward, and soon all I could see was the empty eye socket before me. I then realized my total insignificance relative to its enormousness. Nevertheless, I extended my course by entering the empty eye socket as it engulfed me. Once inside, I got a close-up view of the remnants of the ligaments and muscles of the eye socket. Yet, I proceeded onward, moving into total darkness and eventually passing through an invisible passageway. My voyage appeared over, and I wondered what might lie ahead.

More horrors! Read my next posting about my swim in the Lake of Fire and Brimstone: INSIDE THE LAKE OF FIRE – THE SECOND DEATH


In my earlier postings (When You Disbelieve The Devil’s Existence…,) I shared an experience when I began to disbelieve in the devil’s existence and shortly afterward experienced a spiritual attack. This attack wounded me severely and left me in an Intensive Care Unit (ICU,) fighting for my life while my doctors did not expect me to live through the night.

LEAVING MY BODY BEHIND

While unconscious in the ICU, I had a near-death out-of-body experience. In this experience, I found myself seated on the floor of a transparent spaceship, hovering in the blackness of space with the radiance of billions of stars around me.

I could feel my buttocks and crossed legs touching the floor even though I could not see it. Mysteriously, I also comprehended that I had a transparent dome above me, shielding me from the environment while permitting me to see in every direction.

Throughout this experience, I received knowledge relevant to my circumstance. Dispatches would arrive in my brain that helped me comprehend what was occurring. For example, I suddenly knew I had left my body behind and was about to travel through space and time. So, when I detected the first sensation of movement, I knew what was happening. 

The ship proceeded slowly forward at first and then gradually accelerated. As I moved forward, I began to hear voices and pieces of people’s conversations as I passed them by in time. One comment after another in succession, as if I were slowly driving past an unbroken line of individuals, each one engaged in dialogue. Initially, I could hear entire sentences, but as the craft accelerated, the terms came in quicker, were higher-pitched, and were less recognizable. Soon, there were very few recognizable words, and eventually, there were none. The sounds of voices transformed into a sound like that of a 33 RPM record played at a 78 RPM speed. Then, as the ship’s acceleration advanced, the sounds became like Morse code. Ultimately, even these blips became a squelch, like the sound an old radio makes when the dial is turned quickly across a broad range of stations. 

I then knew my ship was traveling through time, passing by the voices of my unfulfilled life’s future conversations. They were the voices of a tomorrow I would not have. Abruptly the squelching just stopped, and I thought I would have had a very long life if I had lived.

With the sounds of voices now behind me, I focused on attempting to identify my location. At first, all I could see were the stars and the blackness of space all around me.

I soon noticed, however, that I was zigzagging back and forth through space. The ship was moving in S-shaped curves like a sine wave, veering to the left, then curving back to the right. Like a sailboat moving against the wind, I went back and forth while maintaining one straightforward heading. Where was I going, I wondered.

Find out in my next posting: MY JOURNEY TO SPIRITUAL GOLGOTHA.


This posting is one of several that chronicle what happened when I started to disbelieve the devil’s existence. They convey just how physical, spiritual-warfare can be and are a warning to all who hold such a belief. You can read my previous post here MY DAY OF DEATH, as it is a lead-in to the material published here. 

THE INTENSIVE CARE UNIT AND THE INITIAL PROGNOSIS

I walked into the emergency room (ER), unable to stand erect, clutching my abdomen in pain. Being irritable from my physical disorder, I demanded immediate attention when I reached the admissions window. In response, however, the nurse handed me several forms to fill out and requested my proof of insurance. All this procedural stuff had taken so much time that I wondered if I would receive treatment in time. I then felt the urge to vomit again and hurried to the lavatory on the other side of the room. In the rest room I reasoned that if I had food poisoning, I should be getting better by now as I should have emptied my stomach. But this certainly was not the reality. 

I stumbled back into the reception area, knowing I was acutely ill. Surprisingly, two ER nurses with a wheelchair were waiting to take me to an examination room.

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

A very young man came in and examined my belly. He looked like a high school student, and I hoped he was not my doctor, but, as it turned out, he was the intern on duty. He completed the preliminary examination, but we still needed the blood sample results to provide a prognosis. As I waited for the results, my illness and pain deepened. 

The young physician returned an hour later and advised me that he had arrived at a very uncommon diagnosis. As a result, he requested the assistance of a resident for confirmation. Thirty minutes later, the resident physician came to reexamine me. After reviewing the data, he concurred with the intern’s preliminary diagnosis. However, he also wanted a confirmation by the hospital’s top doctor. I asked what my infirmity might be, but they were hesitant to say anything about their diagnosis. Things were becoming scary. What could be so dire that it required this level of consideration and secretiveness?

So I waited in pain for another hour to allow the head physician to drive in from home. When he arrived, I received a third examination. After deliberating, they all agreed that I was suffering from a malfunctioning pancreas. 

Photo by EVG Kowalievska

They then transferred me to an intensive care unit and gave me morphine for the pain, which had now spread throughout my entire body. At this point, it felt like I had needles and pins implanted in every square millimeter of my body. Soon the discomfort was so extreme that parts of my body went numb. 

Although I did not know it then, the physicians had already informed my immediate family that they did not expect me to live through the night. Further, they recommended contacting distant family members who might want to see me before I died.

The initial shots of morphine proved ineffectual, so they gave me several additional doses, but these were also inadequate. Eventually, a nurse connected me to a morphine injector pump that enabled me to control my medication level by simply pushing a button. Interestingly, all this morphine never made the pain entirely go away. It only brought me into a mindset where I did not care about the pain anymore. I recall thinking at one point when my stomach pain intensified, oh well, so what!

Interestingly, my doctors never told me they had done all they could, that there was no treatment or medication to address my condition. 

Their answer was to halt my food intake, which would discontinue my pancreas functioning and arrest the production of digestive enzymes. These enzymes deteriorate protein and are naturally used to digest food in the abdomen. The real problem was that these enzymes were in my bloodstream, decomposing my body tissues. My mussels, organs, and brain were all damaged by these enzymes. By stopping pancreas function, they stopped the destruction of my body’s protein.  

They never inform me of the gravity of my illness. But this turned out to be a good thing because, throughout this entire ordeal, I always knew that I would recover. 

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

I remember the nurse shutting the curtains in my ICU room and turning out the lights as she left. I lay there for a while, staring at the ceiling while wondering what my fate might be. Eventually, I became groggy and drifted off. I would soon find out. The story continues in: Entering The Spiritual Realm.

MY DAY OF DEATH


This posting is the first of many that documents God’s involvement in my life. It is my Testimony for all to read and rejoice in His wonderful works. In case you have not already read about my childhood experiences, you can find them here: Introduction to Chapter 1 – From the Beginning.

My Day of Death 

It was November 7, 1986, a day I would prefer to forget but likely never will. My chronicle of this day and its aftermath will seem unimaginable to many. It was the day death came calling, and I crossed over into the spiritual reality of our human existence. When I look back at this experience, I understand that it was a period of change for me, an essential lesson in the truth about our reality, and an education on why we are here. I knew almost nothing about these things when they occurred.

It all began when, for some unknown reason, I stopped believing in the devil’s existence. Especially since I had a terrifying encounter with the devil as a child (documented in the section entitled, A Terrifying Memory.) In any event, this false belief left me a vulnerable victim of what started on that November day.

I was not feeling well that day, which was a bummer because I was very enthusiastic about going to a concert with friends that evening. As the day progressed, my condition unfortunately worsened. It was a condition that I had been experiencing, off and on, for many months. The symptoms included low energy, facial flushing, and high temperature after dinner or a couple of drinks. I had also gained over thirty pounds during this time. I had gone to the doctor about these conditions on two separate occasions, but they found nothing wrong.

Despite all this, I decided the concert was just too good an opportunity to pass on. So, that evening, I met my friends at a restaurant before the show for dinner and drinks. Even though I was not hungry, I had a Mexican dish and a beer. The aftereffect of this combination made my stomach feel overly full and backed up. 

We then left the restaurant, walked across the street to the concert hall, and took our seats just before the show started. The music and the performances were outstanding, and everyone was having a swell time, except for me. I was becoming nauseous and sick to my stomach. I tried to delay the inevitable but eventually had to go to the restroom to vomit. As I returned to my chair, I thought there may have been something wrong with the Mexican food. My illness worsened throughout the evening, and I had to depart to the restroom several more times before the concert ended. My friends all wanted to go out for drinks afterward but developing sharp abdominal pains, I declined their invitation and went home instead.

My abdominal pain had become exceptionally severe when I arrived home forty minutes later. As I exited my car, I found that I could not stand upright due to the stomach pain, but bowed down ninety degrees at the waist to minimize it. My wife and I called our family doctor, who recommended that I be taken to the emergency room immediately. Ironically, the hospital brought me within a few blocks or so of the concert hall I had left a couple of hours ago. 

Click the following link to read about my experience at the hospital: When You Disbelieve The Devil’s Existence…

The Coronavirus Dilemma 


I believe that there is much uncertainty today about the Coronavirus and how to effectively prevent and treat it. Main-Stream Media (MSM) tells us that the shot should be mandatory and that without it we should be prevented from going to restaurants, stores, and even parks. Unfortunately, several of our politicians, corporations, and other organizations concur with this point of view.  

On the other hand, we hear stories about people immediately dying or suffering long-term physical problems after receiving the vaccine. Many of us also know that the vaccine is not fully certified by the FDA (It is not – MSM lied – more about this later). It has been authorized for use under an emergency certification that exempts the pharmaceutical company from being sued for financial damages resulting from its use. This, to many people, is an indication that the Pharmaceuticals know that there is something dangerous about the vaccine. So, we are held in Limbo, not sure what to do in many cases.  

Interestingly, I happened to turn my bible to the following verse a few days ago and read the following.  Hosea 4:6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. I believe that this verse applies to us living today. Vital information is being blocked on social media, and MSM is often dishonest regarding Covid. Fear tactics are being deployed. Many folks believe that there is no option but to take the shot. This belief is founded on a lack of knowledge. As it turns out, there is a preventative and a cure that has been revealed in an extensive study published by the Front Line Covid-19 Critical Care Alliance (FLCCC). In their recommendations, the FLCCC has reported that Ivermectin (an FDA-approved drug) is effective when used in all stages of the Coronavirus. The table below displays a high-level glimpse of the effectiveness of this drug based on their research. 

Knowing this makes one wonder why there is such a push to vaccinate everyone and not a word about these extensive study results.  

RECOMMENDED PROTOCOLS 

The FLCCC doctors have also published protocols for the effective prevention and therapy for Covid-19. They can be found on https://covid19criticalcare.com/covid-19-protocols/. I have reproduced two of these protocols here for the reader to see the kind of information addressed in the report. Note: Since this report contains the latest data and presents precautions based on individual health and medications, it is essential to reference the full FLCCC report. 

Next, we provide a link to a video of an interview with Professor Paul Merik, the leader of this research project. In it, he answers many questions about the virus and the vaccine that enable informed decisions for your family and loved ones. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4gkLn-z4II  

VACCINE INFORMATION 

Covid vaccines have dangerous, and in some cases, lethal side effects, and yet those in power and the mainstream media (MSM) are using every trick in the book to get you and your family vaccinated. The following commentary is a summary of an article from the American Thinker, regarding the comments made by Dr. Robert Malone, creator of the mRNA Corona Vaccine. 

A recent peer review study found that the Covid vaccine poses multiple adverse side effect risks, such as blood disorders, neurodegenerative diseases and autoimmune diseases, due to the production of the spike protein, which tracks with actual reported side effects. 

Another study done by MIT and Harvard indicated that is possible that the mRNA vaccines could make human cells permanent spike protein factories due to the alteration of our genome DNA leading to potentially serious autoimmune problems. 

The bottom line: at present we know almost nothing about the long-term effects of the mRNA vaccines and how they affect the human body. 

In an op-ed in The Washington Times Dr. Malone laid out four issues of concern: 

  1. Universal vaccination cannot eradicate the virus and it will continually circulate much like the common cold and influenza. 
  1. These vaccines are not effective in preventing Covid-19. They can only reduce, not eliminate, the risk of infection, replication and transmission. 
  1. There are potential serious risks that must be taken into account, which include cardiac and thrombotic conditions, menstrual cycle disruptions, Bell’s Palsy, Guillain Barre syndrome and anaphylaxis. And unknown side effects that could emerge such as existential reproductive risks, additional autoimmune conditions and various forms of disease enhancement. 
  1. These vaccines are likely to offer a mere 3 months of protection requiring additional boosters, each with the risks outlined above. The more people vaccinated the greater the number of vaccine-resistant mutations will occur. Ever more powerful vaccines will have to be developed which will expose individuals to increasingly greater risk. 

Dr. Malone concludes that only the most vulnerable, the elderly with serious illnesses and others in the population with significant comorbidities, should be vaccinated. The rest of the population should rely on outpatient access to a growing number of proven prophylactics and therapeutics, such as ivermectin, famotidine/celecoxib, fluvoxamine, and various anti-inflammatory steroids as well as Vitamin D and Zinc. 

Dr. Robert Malone, has also produced evidence showing that countries with the highest vaccination percentages are now experiencing a surge in Covid-19 cases. On the other hand, the countries with the lowest vaccination rates have the lowest infection rates. But you will not hear this from the MSM. It seems that there is a concerted effort to ban any suggestion that these vaccines in any way could be harmful to some people. Truth be told, the vaccine is not a vaccine at all but rather an experimental genetic therapy.  

CENSORSHIP AND MIS-INFORMATION 

What is troubling about MSM’s false reporting is their omission of the truths listed above. To my knowledge, they have not mentioned the FLCCC, Ivermectin, or their protocols for treating Covid. In fact, they have been misleading us about Covid from the very start. 

Recently, there has been a great example of the MSM misleads you. They have reported that the Pfizer vaccine received FDA approval and suggested that it is now safe for people to get the shot. Further, they proposed that government agencies and corporations should now mandate that all people get the vaccine because it is deemed safe. The truth, however, is that Pfizer received FDA approval for a vaccine that will not be available for years. The uncertified vaccine we currently receive has, at the same time, been extended under the existing emergency use provisions protecting Pfizer from liability. See https://usawatchdog.com/fda-lied-vax-not-approved-still-experimental/ 

So, you can now see how they misled the public. The vaccine you will receive is not FDA certified. They twisted the truth to get the public to accept the unapproved vaccine and the mandate.  

Today I received information that Pfizer, the company involved in the misinformation on their vaccine certification, has purchased all of the production capability of Ivermectin. Based on all of the above, I suspect that we may soon see a shortage of Ivermectin in the market place.  

The question has to be, why is all of this happening? Why disregard the scientific data gathered by the FLCCC Alliance? Why block the use of Ivermectin when it is reported to be as safe as aspirin? Why try to fool the public with misleading statements vaccine certification. Why, why, why? Could it be something as simple as profit motive? Or could it be something much more sinister?  

In the end, the decision will be yours. I hope to delve into the motivations of their misinformation in a later correspondence. 

Until then, 

God bless with much love, 


Because I am a Christian, I understand that it is necessary to examine the experiences I shared in CHAPTER 2: The Spiritual Warfare Over Me, to ascertain their biblical soundness. I, therefore, have performed the necessary bible research to achieve a scriptural validation of the things I experienced and present my findings to you here in this posting. I hope that in reviewing this material, you may find, like I did, a real glimpse into the spiritual realm.

A CORRELATION TO THE REVELATION OF JESUS CHRIST

The experience of that night terrified me, and as a result, I did not want to think about it, let alone tell anyone about LEAVING MY BODY and entering the spiritual realm. It wasn’t until after I was born again that I understood what God had done for me. His way of starting our relationship was to show me the truth about my life purpose and myself. God loved me enough to give me a second opportunity to make the right choice. I did not deserve this opportunity, but He gave it out of His love for me. I knew that if He did this much for me when I did not merit it, that He would proceed to bless me from that point as well. I gave in to God, little by little, over time. Everything improved when I eventually accepted the truth that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. God then placed favor into my soul, and we grew closer in a relationship than I could have ever envisioned. As I matured as a Christian, I read the Bible and gained new insight into my spiritual encounter. In the book of Revelation, I found uncanny similarities, correlations, and insights into what happened to me. The following sections present some of the parallels found in the book of Revelation.

PROOF OF THE LAKE OF FIRE

The orange plasma that I swam in (see THE LAKE OF FIRE AND BRIMSTONE) is mentioned in the book of Revelation. It is the eternal destination of Satan, the beast, the false prophet, death, Hades, and everyone whose name is not in the book of Life.

Revelation 20:10 The devil, who deceived them, was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone where the beast and the false prophet are. And they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.

THE JUDGMENT OF WORKS AND THE OPENED BOOKS

In my spiritual reality, I stood in a gray place while being judged (THE GRAY PLACE AND JUDGMENT DAY.) I heard the voices of the beings that searched for the record of the good works I had done. I also experienced the pain that I had caused others as the sins of my life passed before me. 

Is there a reference to being judged in the Bible? Are records kept to assist in the judgment? The answer to both of these questions is yes. Everyone will be judged in accordance to their works:  

Revelation 20:11 – 13 Then I saw a great white throne and Him who sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away. And there was found no place for them. And I saw the dead, small and great, standing before God, and books were opened. And another book was opened, which is the Book of Life. And the dead were judged according to their works, by the things, which were written in the books. The sea gave up the dead who were in it, and Death and Hades delivered up the dead who were in them. And they were judged, each one according to his works.

THE SECOND DEATH

Since only truth existed in the place of my reflection, I somehow knew that the pending judgment before me was regarding the second death. In this natural world, I did not have a clue that such a thing existed. Is there evidence of the second death in the Bible? Yes, again, it is explained in the continuation of the passage above. The second death is the end of hell and death. The result is to be the total elimination of evil. There will also be the elimination of dying, pain, and tears. Sadly, however, there will be no more chances for repentance as only those whose name is in the Book of Life will remain:

Revelation 20:14 – 15 Then Death and Hades were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. And anyone not found written in the Book of Life was cast into the lake of fire.

THE SAVIOR

On that night, I swam in the lake of fire and brimstone and later walked in the halls of HELL where I faced THE BEAST. I knew that there was no escape from these places, so how did I get out? I also sustained the reality of the second death, but who has power over death; to let live or let die? The answer is Jesus! The following words from the book of Revelation are the words of the resurrected Jesus: 

Jesus “The Way, the Truth and the Life,” Rises from the Dead

Revelation 1:18 I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore. Amen. And I have the keys of hades and of death.

THE JUDGE

In my recollection, I stood while being judged. To whom do I owe my redemption? Who sits on the throne of judgment? 

Revelation 7:10 And crying out with a loud voice, saying, Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!

I was returned to life that day despite my stained garments. Who has the power to forgive sin?

Mark 2:10 – 11 But that you may know that the Son of Man has power on earth to forgive sins; He said to the paralytic, I say to you, arise, take up your bed, and go to your house.

I stood in a place where only truth existed and was asked, “Why should you live?” But, who is it that will judge the living and the dead?

2 Timothy 4:1 I charge you, therefore, before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, who will judge the living and the dead at His appearing and His kingdom. 

The answer is that Jesus the Christ of Nazareth is our Lord and Savior. Even though I had made poor choices in my life, Jesus covered me with His blood and kept me from the second death I truly deserved. 

Jesus Sheds His Blood on the Cross

My story provides insight into the meaning of our lives because it accurately describes the consequences of poor choices. I had made the poor choice of disbelieving in the existence of the devil, and God revealed the truth to me. The truth is that the devil, hell, the lake of fire and brimstone, the judgment, and the second death are the consequences of our poor choices. God, Jesus, heaven, and life everlasting are the consequences of our good decisions.

A CORRELATION WITH PSALM 30

As you know from reading CHAPTER 2: The Spiritual Warfare Over Me, I entered the emergency room of a major hospital on November 7, 1986, believing that all would be well soon, not knowing that THE DAY OF MY DEATH was knocking on my door . Nor did I know that God would miraculously deliver me from a long string of attacks and calamities. 

A correlation to my experience exists in Psalm 30, a psalm of David, who gives recognition to God for saving him from his foe, for healing him, delivering him from the grave, and saving him from being cast into the pit (SPIRITUAL GOLGOTHA.) I believe that my experience shows that God did these things for me also, and therein lies the correlation. Let’s start by reading a portion of Psalm 30.

Psalm 30: 1-5 I will extol You, O LORD, for You have lifted me up, and have not let my foes rejoice over me. O LORD my God, I cried out to You, and you healed me. O LORD, You brought my soul up from the grave; You have kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit. Sing praise to the LORD, you saints of His, and give thanks at the remembrance of His holy name. For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. 

Let us honor God for His great mercy and love! I completely relate to the message of Psalm 30. So much so that I modified it to become my prayer of thanksgiving for all that my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, has done for me. I present it here, so please read along with me in thanksgiving and praise: 

I will exalt You, Oh Lord, for You have lifted me up and have not let my enemy the devil rejoice in victory over me. Oh Lord, my God, I have cried out to You, and You have healed me from a great affliction of which there was seemingly no hope. Oh Lord, You have lifted my soul from the grave of death and you have saved me from the eternal damnation of which I truly deserve. You have kept me alive and spared me from the fate of the Lake of Fire and Brimstone and the everlasting torture and agony of the second death. Sing praises to the Lord, you saints of His, and give thanks to the remembrance of His holy name; His name is JESUS, THE CHRIST OF NAZARETH. For His anger is but for a moment, but His favor is forever. Oh, weeping and sorrow may endure for a night, but joy everlasting comes in the morning, and a new life begins. 


BACK FROM DEATH

Although I miraculously lived through that first night, my troubles were far from over. My life would continue, but now the devil had me on the ropes, and although I did not know it at the time, he was coming in to finish me off.

He continued attacking me in the hospital as I fought for my life. Several of his attacks damaged my body, while others aggravated my job standing and relationships. When all else failed, he influenced my doctors to persuade me to consent to a risky and unneeded operation. He repeatedly brought mayhem into my life with a relentless wave of events designed to abort my destiny and life purpose.

As strange as this may sound, I paid no heed to the Judgment Day messages I experienced that first night in the hospital (MY DAY OF DEATH, When You Disbelieve The Devil’s Existence…, Entering The Spiritual Realm, MY JOURNEY TO SPIRITUAL GOLGOTHA, IN HELL – CONFRONTED BY THE DEVIL, SWIMMING IN THE LAKE OF FIRE AND BRIMSTONE, Standing On The Seat Of Judgment Before God, MY EXPERIENCES IN HEAVEN AND HELL.) 

This entire encounter was so unbelievably dreadful and depressing that I often doubted if these terrifying experiences could even be real. So, I blocked all my reflections of that night because I no longer wanted to dwell upon them or think about their consequences. I rationalized them away as being nothing more than an awful dream. I pictured them as being very small and far away in my mind. Unfortunately, the consequence of these measures is that they exposed me to a new series of demonic attacks. I was about to experience the truth of living without God to block the devil’s attacks.

THE NEXT THREE MONTHS

I spent the next few weeks in the intensive care unit (ICU), and quite frankly, I could not have been any sicker. It was so bad that I remember thinking, “oh well, at least I’m still alive.”

Seriously ill patients in intensive care unit with a artificial — Stock Photo, Image

The doctors confirmed that my pancreas was the problem. They explained that it had exploded into hyper-production, generating thousands of times the required volume of digestive enzymes and discharging most of them into my bloodstream. They said that these digestive enzymes decompose proteins resulting in massive deterioration over most of my body. My blood, veins, arteries, muscles, nerves, organs, bones, and brain were all decomposing. That would explain my sensations of needles and pins all over my body and the numbness I felt after I entered the hospital.

The physicians continued to divulge that this hyper-production of digestive enzymes created immense pressure on the internal lining of the pancreas. This force became so powerful that it forced the inner lining through the outer wall, forming a balloon-shaped cyst outside the pancreas. The doctors called it a pseudo-cyst, and they deemed it to be a potentially deadly condition. They articulated that even though my pseudo-cyst was leaking, it had not yet ruptured. Eventually, it would harden and break open, abruptly releasing massive quantities of digestive enzymes into my bloodstream, creating even more impairment to my body. My surgeons said my pseudo-cysts were a ticking time bomb and would require defusing before this explosion struck me.

I believed that surgery was on their minds and in their hearts from the very start. I also knew I was not strong enough for surgery then, as my body needed to heal and gain strength.

In the meantime, the physicians proceeded with a recuperation strategy founded on food abstinence. They asserted that total fasting would slow enzyme production considerably because food consumption activates the digestive processes. Beginning this program would also give my body time to purge itself of the harmful toxins in my blood. To confirm that the program was working, they monitored my blood regularly. Within a week, they declared that my enzyme levels were consistently descending.

I made it through the first few weeks without eating anything and lost 30 pounds in the process. They then started IV feedings that consisted of sugarwater and vitamins. The physicians said afterward that my body responded as desired, and I had gained strength. While this was good news, I still felt very sick.

THE STENCH OF DEATH

It was more than physically feeling very sick, however. I began to sense there was something very different about my behavior. One thing that I noticed was my inappropriate speech. Vulgarities were now flowing out of my mouth, seemingly with every sentence I uttered. For some reason, I did not seem to care who it offended as I spared no one from my bad speech, not my mother, father, or even my children. Physicians and nurses were daily victims, and things like my handwritten notes strangely included vulgarities. It was so bad that even though it was clear to me, I seemingly could not stop. I wondered to myself, why am I saying such disgusting things? It was obvious to everyone around me that my vocabulary had changed. In reality, the stench of death was all over me. I was still alive and in this world, but the scent of death had wrapped me like a blanket.

My mind was also influenced. My thoughts were of sensual pleasures and flirting with nurses. This conduct was inconceivable for someone so sick that they could die at any moment. I recall thinking, what is wrong with you? You’re so ill you cannot stay awake for more than an hour at a time, and you are harboring these absurd thoughts?

BREATHING PROBLEMS

One morning soon after relocating to a conventional hospital room, I labored to get air into my lungs and found it difficult to talk. I notified the nurse’s station and was startled when they considered my breathing difficulty insignificant. They declined to do anything, proposing I wait for the physician to come around on his usual rounds. But I had been in the hospital long enough to know that this could take several hours and that it was also possible for the doctor to not show up at all.

I was getting scared as my disorder worsened rapidly, and I did not want to leave things to chance. So I phoned home, and they convinced our family physician to come to the hospital. He discovered that my vocal cords were swollen and restricted my airflow. He then explained that digestive enzymes damaged my vocal cords and proposed that this happened when I puked entering the hospital. He stated that if left unaddressed, a total blockage would eventually ensue, and I would suffocate. He ordered that I be placed on oxygen immediately and scheduled a tracheotomy for the morning.

The operation required that the physicians enter through a cut in the base of my neck. They then had to cut a hole in my windpipe just below my vocal cords and insert a small metal pipe into the hole. This mechanism ensured that the passageway remained open, allowing air to flow into my lungs through the tube even when my vocal cords closed completely. This device became my lifeline to the oxygen that I needed for the next several weeks.

EATING PROBLEMS

After I had been on IV feedings for a while, my physicians grew concerned about their ability to preserve my weight and health on continuous IV feedings. So they decided to see if I was healthy enough to begin ingesting natural foodstuffs again. They gradually introduced a liquid diet, and when that was successful, they pursued a soft nourishment diet. Everything went well for about a week, but unexpectedly my enzyme levels shot up dramatically again. 

So they paused these tests until my enzyme numbers turned back down, and when they did about a week later, they reinstated the exact meal plan strategy. Unfortunately, my enzyme levels shot up again, and they suspended the feeding program for a second time. Through all of this, the IV feedings never ceased, and their effect began to take its toll as the veins in my arms, legs, hands, and feet broke down. Things were getting more alarming, and I wondered if they had a resolution.

A CATHETER IN THE AORTA

I was gradually moving toward a no-win crisis. My large veins had broken down, forcing the nurses to use smaller ones, therein reducing the amount of nourishment I could obtain in a day. They also had an increasingly challenging time locating a vein, often having to make several sticks were now becoming common.

After agonizing about this predicament, my physicians eventually resolved to take the risk of inserting a semi-permanent catheter into my Aorta. That’s correct, through the center of my chest and incredibly close to my heart. They were reluctant to perform this operation because one slip could result in permanent heart damage.

But there were several advantages to taking the risk. One benefit is that it would solve my nutritional issues. Once this catheter was in place, I would get all the nutrition required in just four hours. Secondly, it was considerably easier to use; merely attach an IV bag to the catheter and eliminate the needle sticks. Things would become more comfortable and pain-free. I could get up and move about more frequently as I would no longer have an IV bag holding me back.

They performed the Catheter insertion procedure in my hospital room, and I was conscious throughout the operation as the physicians required feedback from me. They began by cutting a small opening in my chest so they could gain access to my Aorta from between two of my ribs. Then they injected the catheter through that hole and inserted it into my Aorta. But as fate would have it, they encountered considerable trouble piercing my Aorta wall. The Doc had to gradually exert increasing force to propel the catheter into the artery. This exertion persisted for several minutes until, finally, the physician leveraged all of his strength and body weight to get the job done. As all of this was happening, I became very concerned as I recollected the danger warnings they gave me before the procedure began. But the catheter finally pierced the aorta wall, creating a loud sound like the crushing of a giant beetle’s shell as the catheter punctured the Aorta wall. The good news is that the operation was a success. There were no slips, thank God. I was delighted and relieved that this ordeal was over.

A MEAGER ATTEMPT TO FIND GOD
Someplace along the way, I picked up a Bible. I had never read it before, but now that I had the time, I believed that perhaps it would be as good an opportunity as any. I was still tired much of the time, and I napped several times a day. I would often read just a few chapters at a time because even reading tired me. I started reading the book of Matthew and hung in there until I eventually completed the entire book. I read the words, but they somehow did not hit home. I remember thinking that the book did not make any sense. The book of Matthew seemed like a series of beautiful stories, but not much more. I wondered why anyone would get so passionate about these simple accounts. After finishing Matthew, I resumed reading, but after a while, I gave up. The Bible did not make much of an impression on me then. Little did I know that God would reward my modest attempt to reach out to Him.

A HEALING MIRACLE

After being in the hospital for a couple of months, a staff surgeon came to talk to me about my second CAT scan results. He conveyed that my pseudo-cysts had not been reabsorbed back into my pancreas. Further, it would be perilous to leave them in their present state indefinitely. He then provided me with a long list of the perils of this disorder, followed by a recommendation that I have a pancreas operation to eliminate the dangers. 

I then inquired about the dangers of surgery, and he explained that the procedures are complex and risky. It involves making a fifteen-inch cut in the abdomen and then physically removing the stomach, kidneys, and some intestines. The pseudo-cysts would then be lanced and stitched to the inside wall of the intestines. Once finalized, they would reinstate the extracted organs and stitch me up. The surgeon reacknowledged the riskiness of the operation. On the other hand, he remarked that the risk is justified because I would eventually experience conceivably fatal episodes without it.

But the complexity and risk of this operation seemed unreasonable to me. After all, I had believed from the very first day that I would recover and that everything would be fine. I refused to let negative thoughts into my mind. Bad news from the doctor did not change my mind regarding my positive outcome. It also seemed to me that the risk of the operation was higher than any potential future damage caused by my pancreas. I did not want to die on the operating table. This surgery just seemed intrinsically a bad idea to me. It seemed wrong in my head and my gut.

Some of my family thought differently, however. Of course, they knew considerably better than I, just how fortunate I was to be alive. After a discussion with them and thinking about the right decision for some time, I chose to get a second opinion. So I contacted my family doctor to see if he could help. He searched and found a very experienced pancreatic specialist who worked in another hospital in town. So I asked him to set things up for me.

Little did I know what a firestorm I initiated by bringing in a doctor from another hospital. My mindset was that I wanted the best I could find and could not comprehend why anyone would do it any other way. I also understood that a second opinion from another doctor in this hospital would tend to agree with their surgeon’s assessment. I wanted a fresh set of expert eyes and an open and independent mind, and my family doctor did an extraordinary job playing the middleman in making this happen. He pulled all the strings required to get the second evaluation set up.

On the morning of my second opinion, I was sitting in bed, and I could hear the nurses and the doctors talking in the hall about the outrage of having an outside doctor coming in to examine me. It seemed that every staff member in the hospital was talking about it. They were deeply offended and outraged. With all the fuss they were putting up, you would have thought that someone had robbed a bank, and perhaps, that is what it was all about.

In any case, the external physician showed up and did an excellent job. He asked me several questions, examined me, reviewed my records, and ordered a second battery of tests, including CAT scans, X-rays, and blood tests. A few weeks afterward, he reported his findings, and the results were shocking. He said that by comparing the latest CAT scan with the preceding one, he could see that my pseudo-cysts were shrinking! He indicated that they were reabsorbing into my pancreas and forecasted that they would disappear within three to six months. My body was healing! What great news!

I did not give God any credit at the time, however. I believed that it was my positive attitude, healthy body, and good luck getting me through. It was only much later that I apprehend the truth about Jesus that I understood the healing was all God’s doing.

When I look back at it now, it is as clear as crystal. Something occurred between my first and second series of tests, and that something was that I had sought God’s help by picking up a Bible and reading it. Regardless of how feeble the effort was, God responded with a healing miracle! It did not even matter that I found the experience empty; God honored my attempt to find Him. It was as if God was saying to me, “Okay, son; you took one step in My direction, and you thought that nothing would come of it. But, you have My heart. I am going to show you that I am real. I desire that you live.”

I did not ask for healing but simply reached out to try to find Him. Sweet God in heaven, I praise Your holy and sacred name. I praise You for loving someone unworthy of Your love, who could not have changed the error of his ways without it.

As you can see, God was there again for me. He was watching out for me and taking care of me even when I did not know it. I think about these things now and wonder why the Lord would love me so. He has saved me from the lake of fire and brimstone, the pit of hell and the devil’s savagery. He has given me life even though I stood before Him with the stains of sin on my garments on Judgment Day.

DISAGREEMENTS ABOUT THE GOOD NEWS
When the hospital received the second opinion report, I was not surprised that they disagreed. Nor was I shocked when the hospital surgeon suggested that I would experience severe consequences if I did not have the surgery. I remember thinking at the time, “After all, a surgeon only makes the big money when they operate, right?” But the surgeon was not the only one pressing me to go ahead and have the surgery anyway. Members of my immediate family also tried to persuade me to go forward with the procedure. After all, they were fearful of losing me. I understand.

I knew in my heart that I would live from the very outset. I may have picked up this positive attitude by merely living through the first night. I, therefore, rejected the risky surgery and accepted the path of natural recovery. You see, I had believed in a good report even before there was one to contemplate. I knew that I did not need the operation, and I told my hospital doctors and everyone else of this belief. Many people tried to change my mind, but I declined them all.

The physicians tried several strategies to get me to recant, but my response was always unwavering and to the point. In the end, they pressed me so hard that I had to rudely tell them that this was the end of the line. There would be no more discussions about an operation.

Interestingly enough, by chance, I ran into a surgeon who recommended the operation on an airport shuttle bus several years later. I was in much better health by then, and he may not have known who I was, so I reintroduced myself. Would you believe that he started preaching to me about the operation again? I guess he just did not get the message. He refused to accept the test results that confirmed that the pseudo-cysts had disappeared and that there was nothing left on which to operate! So it is with the unbelieving, they see with their eyes, but their minds don’t comprehend. They hear with their ears, but they don’t understand.

GOING ON HOME CARE
Just as the second opinion foretold, I began to feel much healthier as my body recovered. I still had some difficulties with food digestion and therefore had to stay on aorta IV feedings for quite some time. I no longer had to nap several times a day, and with this added time on my hands, I walked the corridors of the hospital out of boredom.

My family doctors believed that I was now out of severe trouble and suggested that I go on home care. One advantage would be that I could manage my IV feedings without the aid of a nurse. Of course, being home had to be the most important factor. After months in the hospital, going home seemed like a dream come true.

Another advantage of going on home care is the significant cost reduction. Since my healthcare coverage was paying for my entire hospital stay, they had the most to gain by this move, and yet they for some unknown reason balked at funding my home care. Eventually, my family physician had to call the insurance company executives to get home care approved. I was fortunate to have this man in my corner, making things happen for me, time after time. It was a long struggle, but I was pleased to be finally going home.

The home care outfit delivered the IV equipment and demonstrated its proper operation. They also furnished a miniature refrigerator to keep the IV solutions fresh. They furthermore promised to provide additional solutions bags each week. After that, I became responsible for my home care procedure. All I had to do was hook up the IV line to my aorta catheter at the proper times and visit my doctor frequently for check-ups.

PROBLEMS WITH INFECTION

For the first few weeks, everything performed remarkably well. Then one day, for no apparent reason, I suffered what I would describe as severe icy chills and uncontrollable shivering. Blankets did not remedy my symptoms either, as I shook for around ten minutes. Eventually, my lips turned blue from the cold. Then, just as quickly as they formed, these chills ran their course and suddenly ceased. I then went to the hospital, where they performed a series of tests. I afterward spoke with the physicians, and they were baffled. I became very concerned regarding this situation, so I walked them thru the chronology of my illness and my home care program. Despite this added information, they advised me not to worry about it as it was likely nothing. I remember contemplating that perhaps something was amiss with my catheter. After all, what else could it be? But then I also reasoned that they are paid well to unravel people’s health crises. They are doctors. It is their job! They have studied for years and are competent in reasoning this out. They are professionals! They know what they are doing, right?

Roughly ten days later, just as I began believing that maybe the doctors were correct, the chills hit me a second time, only much more acutely. I am not sure how this reoccurrence of shivers remained, but when they ended, I was exhausted. In my way of reasoning, this attack drastically reversal of my recovery. When it was over, I mustered up the energy to return to the hospital, where they completed an even more exhaustive set of tests. But the results were identical; they found nothing wrong and sent me home. I confirmed they understood the details of my condition and home care treatment. I explicitly questioned if my Aortic catheter could be the source of the difficulty. They replied that if they could see me when I was experiencing an episode, they might identify the origin of these perplexing shivers and convulsions. I was beginning to doubt if they believed what I had told them.

A week afterward, my third episode commenced. Luckily it happened at my family doctor’s office when it happened. The doctor was examining me on the exam table when it all started. I became ice cold and started shaking violently in front of my doctor. I saw my lips turning blue in a mirror across the room. The physician had the nurse cover me with heavy blankets, but they were ineffective in controlling my coldness. The convulsions became much more fierce, and I felt numbness in my fingers and toes. The muscles of my body then began cramping from the exhaustion of the shaking. In the thick of all of this, the doctor checked my heartbeat with his stethoscope. I felt an irregular heart rhythm awkwardly pounding in my chest and knew he was hearing it as I watched his face turn white. I saw the fear in his eyes, and I knew he thought I could die there in his office. I also knew I was weak enough to expire, but like before, I knew I would be alright.

But my body started shaking even more violently, and the doctor directed a nurse to lay on me to provide body warmth. An ambulance soon arrived, and the emergency responders wheeled me out on a gurney right through the patient waiting room. I saw the horror and disgust on the faces of the people as I passed by them. I guessed that they likely presumed that I was dying!

Like the other two episodes, the extreme shaking and coldness abruptly ended inside the ambulance. My physician must have phoned ahead because the medical staff there immediately concluded that something might be wrong with my catheter and removed it as a precautionary measure. Later, tests performed on the catheter confirmed their suspicions as a strand of staph infection was growing at the end of the catheter. 

According to my family doctor, they speculated that a long chain of staff infections formed on the end of the catheter and grew as time passed. Once it reached a critical mass, however, the strand would break, and the staff would be instantaneously released into my heart. This caused my body to react the way I identified above. 

SIGNIFICANCE TO THE VISION

I did not know it, but these things were a part of the spiritual warfare against me. Satan kept hitting me because I did not know to seek the protection of God. God was trying to get my attention, but I was not paying attention. He had something He wanted to tell me.