Although I lived through the night, my troubles were far from over. My life would continue, but now the devil had me on the ropes, and although I did not know it, he was coming in to finish me off. He continued to attack me in the hospital and even afterward. Many of his attacks afflicted my body with additional damage. In contrast, my doctors and others tried to persuade me to have a very dangerous operation that I did not need. The devil beset my job and my personal relationships, and when all else failed, he tried to physically kill me with his bare hands. He invoked havoc in my life with a continuous surge of events devised to abort my future and, therein, eradicate the purpose of my life.
Consequently, as much as possible, I blocked these memories from entering my consciousness, as I did not want to dwell upon them or their consequences. I rationalized them away, pretending they were simply one dreadful dream. I then pictured them as small and far away. I put them behind me, and as a result of ignoring what God had shown me that night, I opened myself to the spiritual attacks that would beset me from that moment on. Because of my poor decisions, I was about to experience the reality of living a life without the protection of God and, therefore, have nothing to thwart the attacks of the devil.
I was ashamed of what I encountered and did not share what happened with anyone. I did not realize what God had done for me until years afterward when I recognized that what happened to me was God’s response to my doubting the devil’s existence. Yes, God responded by showing me the truth, not only of the devil’s existence but also the existence of Hell, the Lake of Fire, Spiritual Golgotha, and the Judgment Seat of the Lord. I had not comprehended the blessings that He gave me by revealing the truth of these things. It was not as if I had been punished as I had previously believed, but instead, God removed me from harm in each of these places. Therefore, God gave me the honor of knowing the truth of the reality of these spiritual truths. Unfortunately for me, this belief would only come many years later.
So, from this point forward, I will present how I became an innocent victim of a constant stream of spiritual attacks, not knowing that I had become a target of the devil’s spiritual warfare. These experiences will be chronicled in future postings.
In my preceding post, I wrote about how God transported me from the Pit of Fire and Brimstone into Hell to face the devil and experience his absolute hatred for me. I watched this beast in horror as he violently tried to attack me, but God had fastened his feet to the ground, keeping me just out of his reach.
In this experience, just like so many before, God protected me from harm. In this circumstance, I was instantly transferred to another place, leaving Satan in a rage, trying to break his restraints and harm me. This experience certainly changed my disbelief in the devil’s existence, a belief that likely was at the center of these spiritual experiences.
Now that God had revealed these spiritual truths to me, I was again transported from there to the Judgement Seat of the Lord.
I arrived in a tranquil fog that mysteriously had no dampness. The mist engulfed me, so all I could see was gray. I pondered my recent experiences (see the links above). I felt fortunate to be in a peaceful, calming place like this one. All of this abruptly changed as I began to re-live the iniquities of my life but in a much more vivid way than when I lived them. Once again, I experienced the feelings, emotions, and perceptions of the individuals I had infringed upon, and it humiliated and humbled me. All of these experiences occurred concurrently and instantaneously.
Suddenly, I heard a voice coming through the fog. It was a mature, comforting voice, one that projected love. It emitted a confidence that lured me toward it. It was firm and yet unintimidating and had a flawless tempo. Its power, phrasing, and diction were exact, yet the voice transmitted a sense of caring and consideration. I perceived all this from just the four stunning words He spoke.
I remember thinking, how did I discern all this from just four words? After all, it was a straightforward question, yet so profound that it cut to my heart. The inquiry had shocked me, and its implications hit home like a sledgehammer. “Why should you live?” is all the voice said without expression of judgment or wrath. Therefore, there were no clues as to what an acceptable response was. The ramifications of the question devastated me as I began recognizing that my answer would likely determine my fate. There must be a correct answer; otherwise, why ask the question I thought? Frantically, I searched for justifications for my behavior.
Then, another understanding came out of the blue (the truth kept arriving when I needed it,) rocking me even more. I realized this place has no lies; only the truth exists. Lies do not exist here because the one who asked the question knows the truth, and every soul there has access to this truth. Soon, yet another truth smacked me into turmoil. The query pertained to more than just mortal life and death on Earth. The inquiry is about living eternally, either in paradise or in the Lake of Fire and Brimstone, the second death (see the links above.) I then began to comprehend the consequence and gravity of the question. Death forever! Agony, torture, and suffering in the Lake of Fire for eternity. Everlasting torment at the hand of Satan. Then that “oh, no” emotion swam over me in a deluge, you know, that remorseful sensation you get in your gut when your actions have severely hurt someone.
Then I heard a commotion from behind the One who asked the question, and another voice declared, “What about good works?” I then heard more rustling and commotion, and abruptly, the disruption stopped, and a third voice said, “There are none.” I stood there stunned and wondered how this could be since I knew I had done good works? Then, another truth entered my mind. Even my good deeds were done for the wrong reasons.
I understood that the focus was back on me to answer the question, and I became desperate to find a suitable reply. I knew I had to say something, so I blamed others and waited for a response, but I received only silence. Then, I conceded that I should not try to blame others for my bad choices, and I yielded, telling God that I would change and asked for His help.
That was the last thing I recall about being before the judgment seat of God. My next memory would be stirring in the ICU the following morning. I had survived the night by the mercy of God because I surrendered and promised to do better.
Yes, it happened again; God guided and protected me, just like I reported in many other postings. This time, however, it is evident that the one who saved me had the power to rescue me from the greatest misfortune of all: hell and the second death. You would think that by this time, there would be no mistaking who was watching out for me, but regrettably, I was still blind. I saw these Judgment Day experiences as one terrifying dream, and so I moved my rememberings of that night to a remote place in my brain and moved on.
But the devil was not done with me; fortunately, neither was God. The spiritual battle over me would continue for years. In subsequent postings, I will tell of the continuous setbacks I suffered in the ICU, the hospital, on home care, and at work until, eventually, I surrendered and once again turned back to God. Miraculously, after years of tumult, this surrender was immediately followed by the Vision from God (A VISION OF A JESUS-FILLED WORLD COMING TO PASS), which became a substantial focus of this website. Soon after receiving this vision, God changed everything in my life. He did this to lead me to a place where I could learn more about Him and how His Spirit operates in the world. This is the help that I asked Him for. All these things and more would become the heart of Possess the Vision.
My next posting will take over where this one left off, communicating my experiences in the ICU. You can find it by following this link: BACK FROM DEATH
In my previous postings I have communicated to you about my severe medical condition that landed me in the intensive care unit, dying. There, I left my body and traveled through space and time and entered into the Lake of Fire, the place of the second death. I communicated how I swam in the Lake and of all the horror there. From there I traveled to Hell Itself where I was place before Satin and experience his extreme hatred of me. From there I was taken to the Judgment seat of God and relived all of my sins in an instant in time. Here is my account of what happened there:
Now I stand in the Judgment Place blind because of the fog and God asks me the question of the Judgment Place. The question was so profound that, quite frankly, it cut me to the core. It caught me by surprise and left me in a state of disarray. It was direct and to the point and it hit home like a sledgehammer. It is the question that demands an explanation. The question is simply: “Why should you live?”
But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you show contempt for your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. For it is written: “As I live, says the LORD, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” So then each of us shall give account of himself to God. (Romans 14:10 – 12)
At first, I was enamored by the voice because somehow there was an attraction that pulled you toward it. it was so perfect in every way. The voice was mellow and soothing, as love seemed to come from it. It was confident but not overly so. The voice was strong but not over bearing. It demonstrated perfect tempo being neither too slow nor too fast. The volume was perfect as well, being neither too loud nor too soft and enunciation and pronunciation were perfect as well.
At the same time, the voice conveyed a very real sense of caring and concern. Amazingly, the voice communicated all of these things by speaking only four words. Think about this, how could this be possible by asking a simple question?
There was no sense of anger in the voice. No inflection to reveal the acceptable response. Since the fog kept me from seeing the source of the voice, there was no opportunity to read body language or facial expression.
Eventually, I got over being intrigued with the voice as the ramifications of the question started to overwhelm me. I realized that this was a serious situation and I knew that my answer would determine my fate forevermore.
I thought: here I am being judgedfor all eternity. If I am being asked a question, there must be a right answer that can make a difference. Frantically, I started to think up excuses to rationalize my poor decisions and behavior.
The Last Judgment by Michelangelo
While I was doing this, another truth rocked me. It came to me from out of the blue. There were no lies here in this place, only truth existed. Even for someone like me, lies did not exist here because the one who asked the question already knew the truth.
In my next posting I will reveal the insights that came to be as I pondered my dilemma. I started to put things together and realized how great the consequences were of my answer.
Until then: May all of God’s blessings be upon you and your family.
SEEKING JESUS 