Tag Archive: gods healing


I had stopped believing in the existence of the devil and quickly suffered a life-threatening condition that sent me to the hospital, fighting for my life. I passed over into the spiritual realm, where I experienced the realities of the devil, hell, the Lake of Fire, and the Judgement Seat, where I stood before God with stains on my garments. 

After promising God that I would change, I miraculously returned to the living that first night, but my troubles were far from over. As strange as this may sound, I paid no heed to the Judgment Day messages I experienced that first night in the hospital (MY DAY OF DEATHWhen You Disbelieve The Devil’s Existence…Entering The Spiritual RealmMY JOURNEY TO SPIRITUAL GOLGOTHAIN HELL – CONFRONTED BY THE DEVILSWIMMING IN THE LAKE OF FIRE AND BRIMSTONEStanding On The Seat Of Judgment Before GodMY EXPERIENCES IN HEAVEN AND HELL.) 

Although I returned to life, the devil had me on the ropes, and although I did not know it, he was coming in to finish me off. He continued attacking me in the hospital as I fought for my life. In my previous two postings, he attempted to suffocate me (MY ABILITY TO BREATH IS ATTACKED) and starve me to death (UNABLE TO GET ENOUGH NUTRITION TO SURVIVE .) In this posting, he persuaded my doctors to get me to consent to a risky and unneeded operation. He repeatedly brought mayhem into my life with a relentless wave of events designed to abort my destiny and life purpose.

Somewhere along the way, I picked up a Bible, conceding that it may be an appropriate time to reach out to God. I began by reading the book of Matthew and finished the book by reading just a few chapters each day. However, the words it read didn’t resonate with me then. The book delivered a series of beautiful accounts of Jesus’ life, but I could not grasp their spiritual implications. I subsequently resumed my reading program by reading Mark, but after a while, I gave up. Little did I know, however, that God would reward my meager attempt to move closer to Him.  


After being in the hospital for two months, a staff surgeon came to discuss the results of my recent CAT scan. He said the test confirmed my pseudocysts were not reabsorbing into my pancreas as hoped. He also stated that leaving them in this condition would be risky. He then delivered a long list of the perils of avoiding this operation and strongly advised me to have it done. 

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

I inquired about the risks of surgery and found that the operation required a fifteen-inch cut in my abdomen and the removal of my stomach, kidneys, and some intestines. These steps are performed to access the pancreas, which is positioned near the spine and is otherwise unreachable. The pseudocysts would then be lanced and sewn onto the inside wall of the intestines giving them a safe place to drain. Once completed, they would reinstate the removed organs and stitch me up. The physician felt the risk associated with the operation was justified because of the significant, possibly fatal, episodes that would occur without it. 

But the complexity and risk of this procedure seemed unreasonable to me. After all, I felt from the first day that my body would heal and I would recover. I declined to let pessimistic sentiments from the physician change my mind regarding my outcome. It seemed to me that the operational risks were higher than the potential injury from a pancreas malfunction sometime in the future. I did not want to die on the operating table. This surgery seemed to be an intrinsically bad idea to me. It seemed wrong in my head and my gut. 


Some in my family, nevertheless, felt differently. Of course, they knew much better than I, just how fortunate I was to be alive. After a discussion with them, I searched for the right decision for quite some time, eventually choosing to get a second opinion. So I contacted my family doctor to see if he could help. He investigated and found an experienced pancreatic specialist who worked in another hospital across town. So, I asked my family doctor to set things up for me. 

Little did I know what a firestorm I started by bringing in a physician from another hospital. My view was that I wanted the best I could find and did not comprehend why anyone would do differently. I also knew a second opinion by another doctor in the same practice would have political implications, which could sway opinion toward their colleague’s original findings. I wanted a fresh set of eyes and an open and independent mind. Fortunately, my family doctor did an extraordinary job playing the middleman in making this transpire. He pulled all the strings required to get the second opinion set up. 

On the morning the second opinion exam was scheduled, I was sitting in bed, listening to the nurses and the doctors talking in the hallway about the outrage of having an outsider evaluate me. It seemed like everyone in the building was talking about this issue. They were insulted that such a thing could occur. With all the fuss they were generating, you would have thought that someone had robbed a bank, and maybe, that is what it was all about. 

In any case, the doctor showed up and did an excellent job. He asked me multiple questions, examined me, reviewed my records, and ordered another battery of tests, including CAT scans, X-rays, and blood tests.

A few weeks later, he reported his findings, and their consequences were surprising. He conveyed that by comparing the most recent CAT scan with the previous one, he discovered that my pseudocysts were shrinking! They were being reabsorbed back into my pancreas, and he forecasted they would vanish within three to six months. My body was healing! What great news! 

Jesus is the Light of the Wordl

Looking back on it now, it is apparent that something transpired between my first and second series of examinations. That something was that I had desired to find God by picking up a Bible and reading it. Regardless of how feeble my effort was, God responded with a healing miracle! Yes, that is right. When I thought about it, the physicians could do nothing but offer a risky surgery, resulting in a patch job while causing much damage to my body and organs. On the other hand, God gave me a genuine healing that returned my body and organs to their original state without damage or risk. 

My faith that I would be healthy without the surgery is something God put in me that first night in the hospital. God honored my attempt to find Him, and it did not matter that I found the experience lacking. It was as if God was responding to me, “Okay, son; you took one step in My direction, and you thought nothing would come of it. But you have My heart. I am going to show you that I am real. I desire that you live.”

As it was communicated in all the other incidents I have reported in this blog, God was there for me again. He continued watching over and protecting me, even though I did not know it. I often wonder why the Lord would have loved me so. After all, He saved me from the lake of fire (SWIMMING IN THE LAKE OF FIRE AND BRIMSTONE) and brimstone, the pit of hell, and the devil’s savagery (MY EXPERIENCES IN HEAVEN AND HELL). He has given me life even though I stood before Him on Judgment Day with the stains of sin on my garments. Nothing could be more significant than being saved from these things. Then later, He also healed me when I attempted to find Him by reading the Bible. 

Sweet God in heaven, I praise Your holy and sacred name. I praise You for loving someone unworthy of Your love, who could not have changed the error of his ways without your loving care.

The truth is that God was willing to develop a closer relationship with me then, but I was not ready. I still had not recognized that He was my protection and healer. I, therefore, did not give Him the praise he deserved for doing so. However, by not giving credit to God for my healing, and since I had not renounced my disbelief in the devil’s existence, my penalty would be that the spiritual warfare over me would continue. 


When the hospital staff acquired the second opinion report, I expected they would oppose it. I expected the hospital surgeons’ warnings that I would encounter severe consequences without the surgery. I remember thinking, “After all, a surgeon only makes big money when they operate, right?” But the surgeon was not the only one encouraging me to go ahead and have the surgery. Members of my family also tried to persuade me to have the procedure. After all, I understand that they were afraid of losing me.  

I, therefore, abandoned the risky surgery and accepted the path of natural recovery because I believed in a good report even before there was one to contemplate. I knew I did not need the operation, and I told my hospital doctors and everyone else of this belief. Many people tried to change my mind, but I declined them all.

The hospital physicians tried several strategies to get me to recant about having the operation. I, however, was always unwavering and to the point. Eventually, they pressed me so hard that I had to rudely tell them this was the end of the line. There would be no more discussions about an operation.

Interestingly enough, I encountered the top surgeon who recommended the operation while on an airport shuttle bus several years later. I was in much better health by then, and he may not have recognized me, so I reintroduced myself. Would you believe that he started preaching to me about the operation again? I guess he did not get the message. He refused to accept the test results that confirmed that the pseudocysts had disappeared and that there was nothing on which to operate!

In my next posting you will learn about my insurance company blocking my ability to go on home care despite my doctors recommendations. After being in the hospital for almost 3 months and even though they would save tons of money doing so, they persistantly blocked my ability to go home.

The Morning Star Rising on the First Day

Read my story by ordering my book, “Possess the Vision”


In a series of prior postings I have communicated how a life threatening illness sent me to the emergency room where the doctors did not expect me to live through the night. Being close to death, my spirit left my body and I experienced the truth of our spiritual reality. I traveled to and swam in the Lake of Fire (also called the second death) where I experienced unimaginable horrors. I then went into Hell where I was confronted by Satan and experienced the incredible hatred that he has for me. Next I traveled to the Judgment Seat of Christ and heard the words from God that no one wants to hear, which were, “Why should you live?”

If you would like to read the details of all of this please use the following hyperlinks:












The Last Judgment by Rogier Van Der Weyden

But I made a promise to God that I would be better if He would work with me. The next thing that I knew was that I woke up in the intensive care center. I had lived through the night but what was about to become clear was that the battle for my life was not over. My problem was an exploding pancreas was filling my body with digestive enzymes that are used to decompose meat. So in effect, my body was disintegrating from the inside out. To slow down enzyme production I was placed on a strict fast until such time as a more definitive direction could be made. Then suddenly my vocal cords became swollen and choked off my air supply and an emergency operation was performed that saved my life. Another operation was performed to insure that I had proper levels of nutrition entering my body. But there still was no answer to what to do about my broken pancreas.


Then, for some reason I picked up a Bible one day. I had never read it before but since I had the time I thought that perhaps it would be as good a time as any. I was still in the hospital and was tired most of the time. I would often read just a few chapters at a time because even reading tired me. I started by reading the book of Matthew and hung in there until I eventually finished the entire book. I read the words but for what ever reason, they did not hit home. I remember thinking that they did not seem to make any sense. They left me feeling flat. The book of Matthew seemed like a series of nice stories—not much more. I wondered why anyone would get so excited about these simple stories. After finishing Matthew, I continued reading but after a while I gave up. The Bible just did not make much of an impression on me. Little did I know at the time that God would honor my meager attempt to find Him. The following paragraphs tell the story of what happened shortly afterward.


Jesus Heals the Leper

After being in the hospital for a couple of months, my surgeon came to talk to me. This was shortly after I had a second set of CAT scan examination performed. These examinations were performed to look at my pancreas and to determine weather it has healing or if I would need an operation.  My doctor communicated that the pseudo cysts on my pancreas were not being reabsorbed. This meant that I would need surgery to correct this condition. He also said that in the short term they posed little risk because the pseudo cyst tissues were soft. Over time they would harden and be in danger of breaking. Therefore, he indicated that it would be very dangerous to leave these pseudo cysts in their current condition.

He provided me with a long list of reasons why my condition was dangerous and recommended a pancreas operation when I got stronger. When I inquired about the risks of the operation he explained that the procedure would be very complex and risky. They would have to make a fifteen-inch cut in my abdomen and physically remove my stomach, kidneys and much of my intestines just to get to the pancreas. All of this would be necessary because the pancreas is located just inside the backbone and it is inaccessible from the back.

Once the internal organs were out of the way, the pseudo cysts would be lanced and then sewn to the wall of the intestines. This procedure would enable the pseudo-cysts to drain directly into the intestines where the powerful enzymes excreted by the pancreas would not be harmful. Once this phase of the operation was complete, they would replace the removed organs and stitch me up.

The surgeon again admitted that this procedure was classified as extremely risky. On the other hand, he believed that the risk was warranted as he was sure that I would have major, potentially fatal, problems without it.

But the complexity and risk of this operation seemed excessive to me. After all, I had believed from the very first day that I would recover and that everything would be fine. In fact, during my hospitalization I refused to let any negative thoughts into my mind. Bad news from the surgeon was not going to change my mind about the overall outcome. It seemed to me that the risk of the surgery was greater than the potential problem with my pancreas. The surgery just seemed intrinsically wrong. It felt wrong in my head and wrong in my gut.

Members of my immediate family thought otherwise however. They certainly knew much better than I just how lucky I was to be alive (since the doctors told them that I would not live through the first night but chose to keep me in the dark.) After discussing this situation with them, I decided to get a second opinion. So, I contacted my family doctor to see if he could help.

He did some research and found a very experienced pancreatic specialist who was assigned to another hospital in town. Little did I know what a firestorm would be started by bringing in a doctor from another hospital. Apparently, this kind of thing was just not done. My viewpoint was that I did not understand why anyone would want to do it any other way. I already knew that the other doctors in the hospital would agree with their cohort’s opinion. What I needed was a fresh set of eyes, an open and independent mind, and an environment free from political influence. My family doctor did an excellent job playing the middleman in making it happen. He pulled strings to get the independent second opinion set up.

The day that the doctor from the other hospital showed up, I could hear the nurses and the doctors talking about it in the halls. In fact, it seemed that everyone in the building was talking about it. With all the fuss you would have thought that someone had robbed a bank. In any event, the new doctor showed up and did an excellent job. He asked me a lot of questions, examined me, reviewed my records, and ordered a completely new battery of tests including CAT scans, X-rays, and blood tests. A few weeks later he reported his analysis of the new tests, and the results were shocking. He reported that the pseudo-cysts were shrinking! That meant that I would not need this very dangerous operation.

By comparing the two sets of CAT scans, he was able to report that the pseudo-cysts were smaller than before, which meant that they were being reabsorbed into my pancreas. He projected that within three to six months time that they would be gone completely. My body was being healing! This was great news.

However, I did not give God any of the credit at the time. I thought that it was my good positive attitude, a strong body, and good luck. It was quite a bit later in my life that I came to know the love of Jesus that I truly understood what really happened. When I look back at this event now it is as clear as crystal that God intervened. Something happened between my first and second battery of tests, and that something was that I had tried to find God by picking up a Bible and reading it. Regardless of how feeble the effort was, God responded with a healing miracle! It did not even matter that I found the experience empty; God honored my search for Him. It was as if God was saying to me, “Okay son, you took one step in My direction, and you think that nothing will come of it. But, you have My heart. I am going to show you that I am real. My desire is that you live.”

Jesus "The Life," Raises Lazarus from the Grave

Interestingly, I did not even ask for healing but simply reached out to try to find Him. Sweet God in heaven, I praise Your holy and sacred name. I praise You for loving someone unworthy of Your love. Someone who could never change the error of his ways without Your love.

As you can see, God was there again. He was looking out for me and taking care of me even when I did not know it. I think about these things now and wonder why the Lord would love me so. He has saved me from the lake of fire and brimstone, from the pit of hell and the savagery of the devil. He has given me life even though I stood before Him on the Day of Judgment with the stains of sin all over me.

But the battle was not over. The second opinion was not received well by all of the members of my immediate family. In addition, it was not received well by the hospital doctors either. In my next posting I will tell how they both tried to get me to have the operation anyway.


Read the truly amazing life story about how the forces of good and evil battle over a man and the vision that God gives him. Joseph W. Gordon’s Possess the Vision (Xulon Press, $12.95, 140 pages, ISBN 1-59781-205-6) tells about the mysterious spiritual experiences that occur throughout his lifetime.